A Fae Family Christmas
by HikerChick
Summary: Bo and Kenzi, still brand new to the world of the Fae, are determined to introduce a few human traditions to their new band of friends. But between the desperate search for a tree, an intense Dyson/Lauren rivalry that threatens to derail Secret Santa, and a mysterious green UnderFae with a burning hatred of the holidays, can they really pull off the perfect Fae Family Christmas?
1. Ho Ho Ho

_A/N - Sorry about the false start on this earlier - I posted before it was ready. This is just a short diversion for the holidays, in no way related to Moonlighting. Takes place in a theoretical timeline before Bo's sexytimes with Dyson or Lauren. Hope you enjoy! Next chapter tomorrow._

* * *

**Chapter One - Ho Ho Ho**

"Bo…I'm not so sure about this." Kenzi watched with trepidation as Bo hung up a string of multicolored LED twinkle lights. "We still don't know what the power situation is like in this dump…you might spark a fire or set off some minor explosion visible from deep space."

"Dramatic, much?" Bo stretched as far as she could go, using duct tape to fasten the last string of lights onto a boarded up window. "We've been here for a few months now and nothing has blown yet, not even a fuse."

"That's not true. Some things have blown. Some people have been blown. Some Fae I know have done some serious blowing up in this hizzy." Kenzi unwrapped a red Hershey's Kiss, then a green one, and popped both into her mouth at once.

"Well, if the whole place goes up in flames, it'll at least be easier for our guests to find, right? It'll be like…the three wise men, following the Christmas star." Bo jumped from her ladder, sneezing just as her feet hit the floor. She'd kicked up a lot of dust while decorating, and tiny particles were floating through the living room, visible by the glow of the Christmas lights.

"So, in this scenario, a grumpy dog, a smooth siren, and a whateverthehell Trick is follow the pillar of smoke rising above the city and it leads them to the charred remains of a former drug den in the warehouse district?"

"Yeah, that sounds about right."

"How subversive," Kenzi said, rolling her eyes. "So, what's the miracle in this Fae bastardization of a holiday? That we can have a houseful of guests without you banging at least one of them?"

"The miracle will be if I don't kick you out before the party tonight."

"You wouldn't make me homeless at Christmas, would you? You're too young and sexy to be a Scrooge." Kenzi skipped over to the stereo. She found the station she was looking for and cranked the volume.

The voice of an overenthusiastic deejay blasted through their apartment. "This is _your_ ho ho home for the holidays! 105.9, KLUV, playing all your yuletide favorites. Up next a classic, Brenda Lee's Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree!"

Kenzi danced back over to the table where plastic bags full of holly and mistletoe and tinsel waited to be slapped onto the walls. She hummed along to the music as Bo raided a candy dish shaped like a snowman. "Do Fae even celebrate Christmas?" Kenzi wondered.

"I asked Lauren, and she said no," Bo managed to say through a mouthful of Kisses. "But that's why we're doing this. We're starting a new tradition in a new place with new people. Fae. People Fae. Are Fae technically people? I still haven't figured that part out yet."

"So we're celebrating with cheap decorations, a Secret Santa gift exchange, and a home cooked dinner – when _neither_ of us can even make soup without burning it? We _just _made friends with these people, are you sure you want to chase them away so soon?"

"Would you relax? The food's taken care of. I ordered from a supermarket down the street so all we have to do is pick it up at 3, put it in our own pots and pans and then heat it in the oven. No one will know the difference."

"And you're _sure_ it's okay to have Dyson and Lauren in the same room together? I get the feeling that they don't like each other. And by 'don't like each other', I mean it seems like Dyson wants to douse Lauren in oil and light a menorah under her butt."

"Nice cross-holiday reference."

"Thanks." Kenzi bowed, and Bo toasted her with a plastic cup filled with non-alcoholic egg nog. It was only 8am, and Bo wasn't ready to switch to the 'hard nog' until at least noon.

"It is weird, isn't it?" Bo continued. "Why do you think they hate each other so much? They both work with the Light, so it's not like they're on opposite sides. They're both really friendly to me, why not to each other?"

Kenzi did a facepalm, and shook her head. "Bo, you silly, naïve sex monster."

Bo made a face at her friend, and the two women sat for a while, munching on breakfast candy and chugging eggnog, listening to Brenda Lee.

_"Rockin' around the Christmas tree have a happy holiday…_"

"SHIT!" Bo exclaimed, making Kenzi jump.

"What, what is it?"

Bo threw her hands up in despair. "We forgot the most important part of Christmas, Kenzi!"

"What? Earplugs for when Uncle Alexi drinks a bottle of Absolut and sings the Celine Dion karaoke version of 'O Holy Night'?"

"No! A tree! We don't have a tree!" Bo grabbed Kenzi's arm and yanked her off the stool.

"Where are we gonna get a tree on December 24th?"

"I don't know yet…but we _have _to find something!" Bo threw her long, black leather jacket over her shoulders and snatched her purse from the end table.

"Sounds like the start of a bad Christmas television special." Kenzi groaned as Bo dragged her from their warm apartment, outside into the snow.

* * *

Doctor Lauren Lewis stood in the middle of the Eaton Centre Mall food court, feeling distinctly out of place. As silver bells chimed over the loudspeakers and shoppers rushed home with their 'treasures' – half of which would probably end up being returned the day after Christmas – she pondered the imponderable.

What kind of present are you supposed to get a 1500-year-old Wolf Shifter, when there's a twenty dollar limit?

Especially a 1500 year old Wolf Shifter who is a) your romantic rival and b) an asshole?

She'd known the Secret Santa idea was a disaster waiting to happen. She'd known from the very second Bo brought it up. It all transpired during one of their Succubus training sessions. Lauren had donned the only lingerie she could find in her dresser – a red and white tassled 'Sexy Mrs. Claus' number that she'd gotten as a gag gift from a girlfriend eight years ago. The idea was to present Bo with a potentially arousing stimulus so that she might learn to distinguish and separate the arousal response from the hunger response, allowing her to have sex with humans, not necessarily equate that to feeding, and therefore not chi-suck her partners to death.

It was all very scientific.

And it gave Lauren the chance to flaunt the goods, although Bo was still keeping to her 'let's go slow' rule. The lingerie exercise worked, in the sense that Bo was able to control her hunger. It was a failure, in the sense that it put the Christmas idea in Bo's head, complete with a gift exchange. Naturally, Lauren had pulled Dyson's name out of the 'Secret Santa' hat.

Her entire life seemed like a cosmic joke at this point.

She dodged a horde of little kids and their parents, who were rushing to the center of the food court to visit a jolly, red, 'ho ho ho'-ing Santa Claus. "If only they knew where the _real_ legend of Santa began," she thought to herself as she wandered aimlessly into Spencer's Gifts.

Lauren hadn't celebrated Christmas in five years, ever since her girlfriend Nadia fell into a coma and Lauren started working for the Light Fae. By the time she figured out how to wake Nadia up, the Fae and her job were her entire life. So in the end, it was a blessing in disguise that Nadia didn't remember anything about their relationship and went back to live with her mother. That was two years ago.

Lauren passed a row of motion activated rock n' roll Elvis Elf dolls, which lit up and sang Jingle Bell Rock in robotic voices. Maybe she'd get one of those for Dyson, as a joke. She checked the price tag - $25 bucks. Over the limit. She sighed, and wandered deeper into the novelties store.

She passed the Twilight and Harry Potter shelves, practical joke aisles, and a wall filled with glowing electric plasma balls, disco lights and lava lamps. Before she realized it, she'd managed to land in the 'naughty' section – where mouse pads were shaped like boobs and straws were shaped like penii, and a person could get a set of naked lady playing cards or fuzzy pink handcuffs for five bucks. She chuckled as she picked up a box labeled "Inflatable Penis – Two feet tall, wow your friends!" It seemed appropriate for Dyson. A giant, inflatable dick for a giant, ego-inflated dick. She checked the price tag – 19.99. Under the limit. She grinned as she turned to head for the register, but stopped herself before the cashier caught her eye.

No. This wasn't right. Dyson might be her rival, but they were both adults. She needed to be the mature one. She put the penis back on the shelf, resigned to getting Dyson the same thing adults the world over get when they don't know anything about a person.

She'd get him a gift card.

She paid her twenty bucks for the card and left the store, ready to make a beeline for Barnes and Noble. She'd heard they had a new leather-bound, illustrated edition of 'Gray's Anatomy of the Human Body', and was practically salivating over how amazing and professional it would look sitting on her coffee table. Nothing screams 'classy' like the cardiovascular system. It would be her Christmas present to herself.

She strode purposefully through the crowd of happy shoppers, even humming along to the ambient musak version of "Winter Wonderland" on the speakers. But she hit the brakes when two familiar scents wafted in her direction – leather and perfume. She looked to her right, to see that she was standing directly in front of a Victoria's Secret store. And right next door – Wilson's Leather Outlet.

Lauren grinned. Just because they were playing Secret Santa, that didn't mean she couldn't get Bo a present just for the hell of it. And just because she was being an adult with Dyson, that didn't mean she couldn't play dirty in the fight for Bo's affections. She walked into Victoria's Secret.

Somewhere off in the distance, the mall Santa shouted, "Ho ho ho!"

* * *

"Okay. According to my trusty Google maps app, there's a tree lot right next to the library. So that's about a mile and a half away." Kenzi clicked a few buttons on her phone. "Turn right at the next intersection. And give yourself plenty of time to slow down; this snow is making the roads slippery."

"How did I forget the damn tree?" Bo mumbled to herself.

"Because you're a horrible hostess who is going to end up ruining Christmas for everybody."

Bo turned toward Kenzi with the saddest, watery eyed look that the human had ever seen. "I'm kidding! God, you're sensitive about all this."

"I know, it's just that it's _our_ first holiday together too. I'm trying to make it special."

"Hey, as long as you bought me something shiny and expensive, it's all good."

"Kenzi!"

"It's a joke! It's like my babushka always said – Christmas isn't about the giving _or_ the getting, it's about the loving."

"Awwww…your grandma sounds like a sweetheart."

"Don't give her too much credit. I think she stole that line from the Garfield Christmas Special." Kenzi squinted, as she noticed a figure running through the park alongside the road. Snowflakes were falling thick and heavy now, so it was hard to make out much other than the fact that the man/thing/whatever was bright, _bright_ green. "What the hell _is_ that?" She switched her phone to camera mode to try and take a picture.

Bo laughed. "It looks like the Grinch."

"Well, what's he doing down here?" Kenzi zoomed in. "Shouldn't he be up on Mount Crumpit, hating the Whos?" She gasped, as the green man suddenly vanished into thin air before she could snap a photo.

"Huh. Well, it's gone now." Bo frowned and turned back to the road ahead.

"Weird." Kenzi switched back to the map, and then eyed the road. "Okay, at that stop sign I want you to turn left."

"I don't see a stop sign Kenz, the snow's coming down too thick…"

Kenzi pointed. "Right up there, just behind the mailbox."

"That's not a mailbox, it's a phone booth."

"What is this, the 1980s? Phone booths don't exist anymore; _that_ is a mailbox. You need to get your eyes checked, Succubus."

"Fine! I'll turn at the…SHIT!"

Bo didn't even have time to hit the brakes before the big green something reappeared right in the middle of the road. Bo and Kenzi screamed as they slammed into the creature with a sickening *thud* and it rolled over the hood, tumbled overtop of the car and landed on the concrete. Brakes squealed and the car fishtailed as Bo fought to bring it to a stop. Her chest heaved with deep breaths and her eyes bulged out of her sockets when the car finally stopped moving. "Oh my god did we hit it did we kill it is it dead am I going to jail do you know a lawyer I didn't even see because it came out of nowhere…"

Kenzi jumped out of the passenger door. The green creature lay on its side about twenty feet away. Kenzi looked around…the streets and the sidewalks were empty of people, which was a lucky break if they really had been guilty of vehicular manslaughter. Grinchslaughter. Whatever.

She pulled out her camera and snapped photos as she approached the creature. It clearly wasn't human – its feet were huge, its body covered with a thick layer of bright green fur. She could see it moving up and down. That meant it was still breathing and still alive.

"Bo!" She shouted back to her friend. "It isn't dead, but we need to call the Doc like, _now_." Kenzi went to take another step forward, but before her foot hit the pavement the creature jumped up into a standing position and took off sprinting in the opposite direction, sniffing the air like a bloodhound, hands balled into green fuzzy fists.

Bo caught up to Kenzi, still inhaling and exhaling deep breaths to calm down. "Where did it go?" She furrowed her brow, deeply confused.

"I don't know," Kenzi replied. "But we didn't kill it. There's your Christmas miracle."

"Did you get a good picture?"

Kenzi shuffled through her photos. "A few."

"Send them to Lauren and Dyson. Maybe one of them can tell us what that thing was."

"Got it." Kenzi hit send, and the photos were on their way. She clapped Bo on the back. "Come on, Grim Jeeper. Let's go find ourselves a tree."


	2. Naughty and Nice

**Chapter Two - Naughty and Nice**

Dyson, the Great Wolf Detective, strutted through the Eaton Centre Mall, peeking into storefronts and sneering. He wasn't sure how he'd allowed himself to get roped into Bo's harebrained Christmas plans, but here he was. Out amongst the crowds of dirty humans, shopping for the one person he disliked the most…the one person he wished would disappear from his life to never return.

Lauren.

Ugh. The Doctor. Just the thought of her made Dyson's beard hair stand on end. He, who had seen and won countless battles for pride, territory, and a few hearts here and there – he whose skill with the sword and bow was unmatched among Fae – _he_ who had lived twenty human lifetimes and accumulated knowledge and experience that the human know-it-all would never be able to comprehend…_**HE **_was losing the battle for Bo.

Losing to a human.

Who he now had to spend twenty dollars on. Twenty hard earned dollars, on the Ash's brown nosing, buttinsky, pest of a pet.

Where was the justice in that? He passed a sporting goods store, and vaguely wondered how much a box of bullets would cost. Or a baseball bat.

He shook his head to clear those thoughts. He'd never harm Lauren, of course. That would be beneath him, and admitting defeat. It would also likely get him tossed in the dungeon by the Ash. And it certainly wouldn't be very Christmassy. No…he just had to ride out Bo's little flight of fancy, until she came running into his arms. She was still young, impulsive, and unwise to the ways of the world. A Fae was better for her than a human could ever be, Bo just didn't know it yet.

But back to the business at hand – a gift for his nemesis. What would an uber geek want for Christmas? A pocket protector? A Star Wars paperback novella? Acne cream? None of those seemed appropriate for the Doctor.

He frowned. Not wanting to waste anymore of his time thinking about this nonsense, he wandered into Office Max and emerged ten minutes later with a three-hole punch, a pack of blue ink pens, post-its, a yellow highlighter, and a coffee mug that read "One Sip Closer to Retirement". If only that were true for the Doctor. With $18.97 less in his pocket than when he started, he headed back towards the food court and the blue exit. His lunch hour was almost up.

He passed a stand selling roasted cashews. Did Lauren have a nut allergy? Any kind of allergy at all? He could sneak some into her food at dinner that night, then swoop in and save the day with an EpiPen. He could be the hero. Bo would see how fragile humans really were. While Lauren was recovering on the couch he could sweep Bo off her feet, carry her under the mistletoe, and then…

_"Dyson_?" He winced at the voice, a voice like ten thousand nails on a chalkboard. He spun around slowly, and forced a smile at the object of his inaffection.

"Lauren." He quickly hid his bag behind his back. He noticed the Doctor do the same. "What a surprise, seeing you here."

"Likewise," she gave him an insincere sideways grin. "I wouldn't expect to see you at a mall on Christmas Eve. Are you doing some last minute shopping, or are you here to see Santa Claus?" She gestured toward Santa's village, where the big man himself was having his beard pulled by a giggling toddler. Lauren leaned in close to patronizingly whisper, "Have you been a good boy this year?"

"My naughty/nice status is none of your concern." He tapped her on the head like she was a child. "Although Bo might have something to say about the 'naughty' behavior I've engaged in recently."

"Funny, I didn't realize staying home alone every night daydreaming about Bo and beating your…punching bag…qualified as naughty behavior. I, on the other hand, spend every evening in my lab, with Bo, in varying states of undress. So you're right – if anyone should be worried about being on the naughty list, it should probably be me."

"Enjoy your lump of coal."

"Oh, it will have been worth it." Lauren picked up a toy nutcracker from the roasted chestnut stand, and de-shelled a nut with a violent crack that made Dyson wince. "Trust me. It'll have been worth it."

They sneered at each other, until their phones beeped simultaneously. "It's from Kenzi," Dyson muttered.

"Mine too." Lauren opened the message, which contained a blurry photo. She zoomed in to try and make sense of the green blob that was lying on the ground. No luck. She swiped at the screen with her finger, pulling up another photo. This one was much clearer. "Uh oh."

"Shit. He's back," Dyson growled. "I'll call Hale and have him organize a search party. The Ash and the Morrigan need to be notified…"

Lauren had already pushed "1" on her speed dial. She tapped her foot impatiently, waiting for someone to pick up. While she waited, she took notice of a band of carolers dressed in Victorian Era clothing, walking up from the South Entrance and singing "We Wish You a Merry Christmas". Lauren frowned. It wouldn't be a merry one, a happy one, or even a _safe _one if they couldn't find and stop _him_.

* * *

Bo parked outside the library, a few blocks from where they'd struck the Thing. A cheerfully painted sign declared 'Christmas Trees $30'. Bingo. "Come on Kenzi!"

"Can't I wait in the car? It's cold outside. Baby," she added the last word as an afterthought.

"What is your deal?! It's the holidays, it's snowing, and we're getting a tree for our first family Christmas! Be happy, dammit!" Bo snapped. Her phone rang, but she ignored it in favor of giving her best friend the evil eye.

"Fine, fine," Kenzi reluctantly agreed, dragging herself out of the car. "But if I catch pneumonia…"

"Lauren will fix you up good as new," Bo finished, finally looking at her phone. Her frown turned instantly into a bright-eyed smile upon seeing who was calling. "Hi Lauren! We were just talking about you. What's up?" Bo pushed her hair behind her ear, grinning like a doofus.

Kenzi rolled her eyes, and made for the tree lot.

"Bo!" Lauren's voice was music to the Succubus ears, frantic though it sounded. "I just got Kenzi's photo, are you two alright?"

"We're fine, but we hit that freaky thing with our car. It came out of nowhere…do you know what it was?"

"…yes." Lauren's was clearly worried, judging from her voice. "But it would take too long to explain. Where were you, when you saw it?"

"Near the City Hall Library. But it seemed like it was in a big hurry to get somewhere else." Bo furrowed her brow, wondering what all this was about.

"Interesting. Dyson and I are only a few blocks away, at the mall."

"You're with _Dyson_?" Bo balked. "At a _mall_?"

"No time to explain, I'll fill you in later. Thanks Bo!" Lauren hung up before Bo could ask any follow up questions. She stared at her phone, confused, before pocketing it and heading towards the lot.

Bo opened the white picket gate, eager to smell the glorious scent of fresh pine. Instead she was met with the faint odor of gasoline, and a terrible sight. The lot was empty. The trees were gone. All that remained were a few sad, brown needles littering the snow where hundreds of blue spruce and Douglas fir and Scotch pine once stood. All gone.

A cardboard sign stood in the corner. Some helpful worker had written a message in black marker. "SOLD OUT. Merry Christmas!"

"Shit." Bo sank to her knees and stared up at the sky. Snowflakes fell like gentle pinpricks on her face, melting instantly upon touching skin that burned red and angry. "SHIT!"

* * *

Lauren filled Dyson in on the conversation. He nodded. "If the creature was only a few blocks away, it couldn't have gotten very far. Where do you think it was headed?"

"Probably the most Christmassy place it could find." She frowned, as "Winter Wonderland" piped over the speakers. It was the third different version of the song that she'd heard since walking in to the mall.

A small boy danced by Lauren's legs. "Jingle all the way! Oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse soap n' sleigh!"

"That's 'open sleigh'," his mother gently corrected. She was wearing a green and red sweater. The boy wore a pair of reindeer antlers.

"Ho ho ho!" Santa Claus laughed in the distance.

"Good King Wenceslas looked out on the feast of Stephen…" The carolers strode past.

Lauren bit her lip, as everything around her seemed to be moving in slow motion. "Dyson? I think I know where the creature was going."

"Really? Where?"

Lauren didn't have a chance to answer, as an ear-splitting roar echoed through the mall, followed by another. The shoppers erupted into panic, as the 50 foot tree in front of Santa's Food Court Village burst into flames.


	3. Secret Santas

**Chapter Three – Secret Santas**

Trick paced back and forth around his basement of goodies. He hadn't even thought about Christmas in centuries, and though he could appreciate the ideals of peace on Earth and goodwill toward men, and although he liked the idea of spending time with family and friends, when it came to gift giving he was at a loss.

Making matters worse, he had drawn Kenzi in Secret Santa.

And how was a millennia old Fae supposed to know what a 20 something year old woman would want for Christmas? He'd been putting this off, and putting it off, and putting it off, and now it was too late. Bo's dinner party was only a few hours away, and he had nothing.

And so Trick was unknowingly taking part in another human Christmas tradition – re-gifting.

He had to be careful, of course. He owned quite a few dangerous artifacts, and the last thing he needed was to give Kenzi a bracelet that would make her grow another arm. Not even Lauren could fix something like that. He made his way toward the dusty wine rack in the corner.

Booze.

The fastest way to Kenzi's heart. And liver.

Trick sighed. It would of course be difficult for him to part with any one of these wines. This was his own private stash, collected over the centuries. These were wines of the absolute highest quality, wines that he'd never be caught selling at the bar out of respect for their individual histories and lip-smackingly delicious glory.

He fully expected Kenzi to take one look, uncork a bottle, and chug one of his babies in less time that it took to get through a single verse of "Jingle Bells".

He sighed again. "This is what I get for waiting until the last minute," he muttered. He pulled a bottle from the bottom, dusted it off, and placed it into a cheerfully decorated, red and green sack. A snowman with a corncob pipe and a button nose grinned up at him from the plastic bag.

"Don't mock me, Frosty." Trick spun the bag around and went upstairs. He placed the gift on the bar and made for the front door, spinning the sign for the Dal Riata from 'open' to 'closed'. It wasn't even noon yet, but he had a few stops to make before Bo's party. He grabbed the remote from one of the tables, and turned on the TV to check the weather.

Local news had broken into regularly scheduled programming. Trick frowned deeply, wrinkles between his eyes deepening as he read the lower-third graphic; "Witnesses report 'Grinch 'Sighting – Mall Under Fire."

Trick had his phone out in five seconds, and dialed as he pulled his roll of tools from behind the bar. He set them everything on the polished hardwood, next to the Bacardi and buckthorn mead. "Hale? What in the name of Melchior is going on over there?"

* * *

"It's okay BoBo, this is a big city and I'm sure there are all kinds of places for us to snag a tree." Kenzi patted her friend on the back with one hand. She used the other to hold her phone and search for another lot. "You know…we could just go to Zellers and buy a fake one."

Bo looked at Kenzi with a mixture of disgust and pity. "No way. I used to go out every year with my parents, and we'd chop down a real tree. It HAS to be real. Fake trees are sacrilege. You need the needles and pinecones and evergreen smell for it to count."

"We could buy pine scented air freshener."

"Kenzi!"

"Alright, alright." She tapped her phone. "There's another lot about a half mile away, on Warren Road."

"Then let's go!" Bo grabbed her by the arm and practically dragged her back to the car. They paused for a minute when they reached the road – and for good reason. A huge procession of fire trucks, police cars and ambulances, all with their sirens blazing, shot past them at full speed.

Bo turned to Kenzi? "What was _that_ about?"

"No clue."

Bo watched as the emergency vehicles disappeared around the corner. She winced. Her first instinct was to follow the cars, and see if she could be any help with whatever was going on. But they needed a tree, dammit! They needed to finish decorating! They still had to pick up the food! There were halls to be decked, and carols to be sung, and joy to spread!

"Bo?" Kenzi asked.

"Damn it all to Hell." Bo huffed, opening her car door. "Get in, Kenz. We're following them."

* * *

"Incoming!" Dyson shouted, as he and Lauren huddled behind a garbage can outside of the Orange Julius stand. A five foot tall plastic candy cane fell from the ceiling, shattering right in front of their hiding spot. Above them, the creature roared. It disappeared and reappeared again next to eight life-sized, animatronic, prancing reindeer. Fire shot from the creature's mouth like a flame thrower, igniting the deer all at once.

Bye bye Blitzen.

"I thought this guy was dead!" Lauren shouted over the sound of the smoke alarms.

"So did I!" Dyson retorted, shoving his phone into his pocket. "The Light are sending over a small army right now to deal with the fallout. This is a fucking mess."

"Shouldn't you do something?" Lauren shouted back. "You're a Shifter! What kind of Shifter hides behind a garbage can when a battle is being waged right in front of him! Turn into a wolf and chase the thing!"

Dyson sneered at the attack on his Fae nature and masculinity. His Faesculinity. "This isn't a battle! This is a Christmas hating underfae destroying a bunch of decorations. He's leaving all the people alone."

"Except for Santa Claus." Lauren motioned toward the cardboard gingerbread house that served as Santa's Workshop, where a pudgy old man in a red suit huddled behind a makeshift throne sweating bullets, his whiskers burnt brown. Lauren could read his lips…she didn't realize Santa knew so many swear words.

"I can't change into a wolf when there are hundreds of humans around!" Dyson shouted. The burning embers of the mall Christmas tree tipped over, igniting the Sunglasses Hut.

"The Fae will wipe their memories anyway! Or are you just afraid?"

Dyson snapped his head toward her and growled. She'd pushed the right button. "Turn around."

"Huh?"

"If I don't take my pants off, they'll rip. Unless you want an eyeful of my junk, turn your head around please, _Doctor_."

Lauren spun around, keeping an eye on the green monstrosity that was now ripping a cardboard cutout of Buddy the Elf to shreds. The last thing she needed was the image of a naked Dyson burned into her brain.

That was the _absolute _last thing she needed.

Lauren's hair whipped around her face as Dyson blew past, his fur as brilliantly white as the fake, fluffy cotton 'winters snow' that the mall Santa was frantically burying himself in. Lauren frowned, her concern mounting as Santa's face grew redder and redder until, with a gasp, he clutched his chest and fell backwards.

"Heart attack," she muttered. "Damn."

She heard Dyson's barks and the creature's roars recede into the depths of the mall. Certain that the coast was clear, she called up her own reserves of courage and sprinted toward the poor man.

Santa Claus wasn't dying on her watch.

* * *

"Hale!" Bo shouted, running full speed toward the front doors of the mall. She was thrilled to see a familiar face in the middle of all the chaos. Hale had a cell phone in each ear, and motioned for Bo to wait.

"Yes Ash, we're keeping the EMTs out. Death isn't his M.O, so the folks inside should be fine. Serena and her team are evacuating the humans as we speak." He hung up and switched phones. "Trick, it's under control, DO NOT spill even one drop of your blood. We have Obliviators on the scene, taking care of the witnesses."

"Obliviators?" Kenzi frowned as she caught up, huffing and puffing with the effort. "What is this, Harry Potter?"

"There were a couple of things JK Rowling got right, and memory modifiers were one of them." Hale replied, as he pocketed both phones.

"What's going on here, anyway?" Bo asked.

Hale sighed. "It's the Krampus."

"Cramps?" Kenzi chuckled. "Just give everyone a Midol. Problem solved."

"Not cramps, _Krampus._ It's an Underfae. He comes out one day a year, on Christmas Eve, to create havoc and feed off of the misery he spreads among humans at Christmastime. He hasn't been seen for five years, so we thought he was dead. Apparently not."

"Wait…I've heard of him!" Kenzi exclaimed. "I have cousins from Austria, and they used to sing songs on Christmas to scare him away! Dude is like the anti-Santa Claus. Wait…" Kenzi paused, the gears whirling in her brain. She grabbed Hale by the collar. "Siren! Does that mean Santa Claus is real too?"

"Weeeelll…he _was_. But not in the same way you know him now. He was a Fae who gave out presents, and fed off of the joy of kids when they opened their gifts on Christmas morning."

"What do you mean, 'was'?" Bo asked.

"There was an unfortunate incident with a foxfire chimney and a family of Kitsune in 1803…it wasn't pretty."

Kenzi's jaw dropped to the floor. "Santa is _real_? And he's _dead_?"

"Fraid so." Hale shrugged. Kenzi took a step backward, muttering to herself, trying to process this shocking piece of information.

"This Krampus character…" Bo sidled up closer to Hale. "He doesn't happen to look like the Grinch, does he?"

"Actually yeah, he does. Dr. Seuss used him as his inspiration for the character. Seuss was a Rhapsodes. A type of Fae bard."

"Wait…" Kenzi grabbed her head between her hands. This was getting to be too much. "Santa is dead, and Dr. Seuss was a Fae?"

"Course he was. No human could come up with those mad rhymes," Hale replied. "How did you two know what he looked like?"

Bo sighed. "Because I hit him with my car fifteen minutes ago."

Hale looked at the building in front of them, where smoke was beginning to stream from the vents. Humans continued to file out, coughing and desperately confused. He frowned. "Too bad you didn't hit him harder."


End file.
